I’m struggling to think expansively about what I desire today. Unconditional Love feels difficult. I’m repeating old memories and I’m actually not even sure they’re memories or loud thoughts that over time have taken on the status of memories. It’s a bit disappointing when I’m trying to shift my Awareness towards what I desire, to be dragged out of the Present Moment.

I am grateful that I have this space to contemplate, to see, to perceive my experience. I am here. I am safe in this moment. I am loved. I am cared for. I show up in the exact way that I am meant to, and for right now, that looks like sitting and contemplating the presence of these memories.

I had wine last night which wasn’t helpful. I’m here with my past. All of it.

Wine drags me into the past- a depressant.

Coffee launches me into the future- a stimulant.

I have my beverages, my elixirs, that propel me into moments out of the present. I recognize that I try to balance one out with the other and it is not successful. I shift between past and future, bypassing the Present Moment altogether.

At this moment I see clearly that WATER is the official elixir of the Present Moment. Just as Wind is the breath, Fire is the light, and Earth is beneath my feet.

This is the Present Moment. I sip. I bathe. I am aware that I am home and I am held exactly as I am.

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