I am feeling restrained by mindfulness this morning. My desire to do *everything* is flared. But this nagging feeling comes in: ‘remember mindfulness, remember this body, embody a regulated nervous system.’ I rebel. I feel this desperate urge to MOVE, to DO, to PRODUCE, to ACHIEVE, and even at this moment, to WRITE. It is … Continue reading To Do or To Untangle.
I feel like there is a difference between self-preservation and fear. Fear is contemplative. It is something that you have time and space to deliberate and is a gradual slide toward dysregulation. There are very real protective mechanisms but what I'm talking about is not that... it's not an instant Fight/Flight/Freeze/Fawn system response. It's a … Continue reading Fear.
'I'm so grateful' this morning for my recognition of the fact that I often cut off my inner voice and dysregulation by thinking the bulldozing thought "I'm so grateful." It becomes a way to shift my state temporarily by smashing down any dysregulation. It becomes a way to avoid feeling or working on feeling discomfort, … Continue reading “I’m so grateful.”
September is here. School is back on. Autumn is 3 weeks away. This has always been a time of change for me. I've found myself so dysregulated lately, the last week particularly, and I have seen it as another opportunity to explore. Why am I so stressed out? My daughter is going back to school. … Continue reading Changes.
I know that there is so much messaging out there about making sure your work is perfectly aligned with your brand and what society is all about, but I would love to just propose that maybe we can all give ourselves the grace to show up imperfectly once in a while and see what happens. … Continue reading The Fear of Showing up Imperfectly.
What we focus our awareness on is what we react and respond to. Anything. The cold of the morning breeze. The bugs in the air. The rain. Our mind is always reacting to something. Have you noticed? Have you also noticed that sometimes things will remind you of a past occurrence? Rain can remind you … Continue reading Awareness.
"How can I share my gifts with the world? *Live my experience and write.* Spin, spin, spin. "I'm not a writer." Spin, spin, spin. "I'm a terrible example of how to live a successful life." Spin, spin, spin. "Maybe this means I need to..." Spin, spin, spin... *The fact that this is being pondered so … Continue reading Doubt.
I am the Queen of Avoidance. I say this not as a brag or a proclamation of my greatness, but as a description of the hereditary and culturally upheld nature of this trait. When I was growing up, there was a familiar refrain "ignore it and it will go away." Variations of this included "don't … Continue reading Feel No Evil.