A possibly unpopular boundary that I’ve needed to set for myself: If there is an emergency or an issue of urgency, please don’t call me first. Call who needs to be called- police for crime, fire department for fire, ambulance for a medical emergency, plumber for a leak, therapist for urgent counselling, etc. (To be clear- Obviously if something urgent is happening in my immediate space I will do all I am able to do to help.)
Please do call me when you are ready to process a situation and you need Unconditional Love and someone to witness your truth. I can sit with truth. This is where my abundance lies and I have so much Awareness and attention to give.
I am not the person you want to call in an emergency or even a serious and urgent situation. By being honest with this, I am able to provide a perfect support for those I love in situations I am suited to, instead of imperfect support that does not meet needs and actually takes away an opportunity from someone who is perfect for the task. I block the situation from unfolding in it’s highest alignment.
Any emergency makes me feel triggered and inherently unsafe so I freeze. I am the worst person to call for help because I can’t speak, I can’t act and I feel the trauma of the situation in my body as if it were my own. Later, as I unfreeze, comes the deep shame that I can’t be who I am expected to be in an urgent situation.
I know that I can and will do anything for someone I love, but I also need to honour that I have to love and care for myself first. I am the only one who can delegate my energy in a way that makes sense for my strengths. This honesty can be unpopular because it is inconvenient. I have led a life that has been convenient for others yet entirely dishonest. I have struggled because it has drained me and it has left me in some of the most burnt-out and depleted places I have ever known.
So, later, when you and I are able to sit quietly in a space where our physical bodies are safe, I can observe your truth and I can allow a space for you to process that truth. This is the well I draw from. I know that I can keep myself regulated and allow for you to have a meaningful and thoughtful reflection of the experience.
This has been a really important exploration for me. I am built for these moments of investigation and hope to inspire more of the same in others. This awareness allows me the space to move into healing my triggering regarding emergency situations.
Growth comes from complete illuminated and explored honesty regarding how we are; observed and held with Unconditional Love, without expectation, shame, or timeline.