I am sitting wearing noise-cancelling headphones, next to the running clothes washer. I have been awake for hours, and off and on for hours before that. Waking up and meeting needs and having soothing conversations and interactions. Praying each time to show up in kindness- again and again. I feel numb- like my body has given up on feeling due to fatigue, except my head which is pounding, reminding me I exist. I feel so desperately tired and fragile.
Things suck, they do, and that’s ok. It’s ok to be still and surrender to exactly what we feel in this Present Moment. To see The Suck in our imagination and just sit with it. Have a conversation with it. Hold it as it cries, if that’s what it needs. It is a part of us begging to be acknowledged and seen. To be loved unconditionally in this Present Moment. It will shift, because nothing is forever. Hold our physical body. Place a hand over our heart and remember to breathe.
I reconnect to this Present Moment. The night is over. Nothing is happening in this instant- I can savour it. The air is cool, the muffle of my headphones is comforting. I am doing what I love- giving expression to my Inner Universe. I breathe deep.
This Present Moment is all there is. Everything before is gone, everything to come is unwritten. Now is all we have and now is where our next best step is.
I see us in our suffering, Nurturers. I see us giving without end to the aspects of the Universe surrounding us. I see our challenges to stay in Unconditional Love and acceptance of the Present Moment. I see our very best in this Present Moment and I love us unconditionally. We are showing up exactly the way we are meant to.
